Communicating with other students.

What It Means 

You will find that your ability to communicate with other students and how you feel about those interactions will play a significant role in how satisfied you are with your college experience. Interestingly, while most students either start college knowing (or learn soon after starting) the importance of appropriate and respectful communication with faculty, many do not realize it's as important to treat fellow students with the same respect. Here are some tips on how to effectively communicate with other students. This segment discusses the importance of respectful communication in both group work and classroom discussion.

The reality is that group work is usually difficult to organize and manage. Whether the group is small or large, individual players can make or break the experience. In almost every group there's the overachiever and the underachiever, while most of the others fall somewhere in the middle. The challenge of group work is rarely an inability to complete the assignment but more often it's managing the social interactions. Few freshman realize how integral group work is to the academic experience. Namely, group work mimics what we find in the real world; rarely does a workplace project get done in isolation. Learning to communicate professionally with your fellow students will be challenging at times, but you'll be rewarded with a better experience and refined skills to take into the workplace.

Classroom discussions can be an awesome experience—especially if the instructor is adept at facilitating lively conversation. However, not all professors excel in this department and, in fact, some are downright lousy at it. This means that the students (you and me) often have to moderate ourselves in ways that can be uncomfortable and frustrating. For example, some people offer comments in class that can be offensive or just completely off topic. Additionally, some students hardly participate at all, while others dominate the floor. In these situations, it helps to have some communication tools in your tool belt. Being able to facilitate large group discussions is an amazing skill. And knowing how to tactfully redirect the conversation will allow you to learn in an environment that challenges you while maintaining a safe space where everyone can participate.

Who It Benefits 

In every situation, the responsibility for initiating clear and respectful communication is ours to own. Healthy communication is a challenge for lots of people—not just new students. We tend to think of our professors, administrators, and mentors as naturally being good communicators. However, just like you, their skills and styles fall somewhere on the spectrum from good to not-so-good. Those who do communicate well have developed those skills over many years and often as the result of being challenged in diverse situations. In your academic career, there will be times when you are impressed and times when you are offended by someone's communication style. However, the challenge for us as students is to rise to the occasion and remember that every negative interaction is an opportunity to refine our responses.

How to Do It 

Regardless of your communication style and skill level, there is always room for improvement. One way to develop better communication skills is to take advantage of some of the PSU resources available to you. Check out the SETC site to get started.

Other strategies for improving communication include:

  • Listen actively. 
  • Be open-minded to and show respect for other people’s perspectives. 
  • Speak to the topic or issue.
  • Treat others the way you want to be treated.
  • Avoid personal attacks. 
  • Take responsibility for your part of the conversation.

Listen Actively 

Active listening builds trust between people. It demonstrates understanding and acceptance and promotes discussion. Here are some active listening tips to help you be part of more satisfying discussions in your classes and mentor section.

  • Check your ego at the door. Class discussions and group work are opportunities to learn more about a topic, including what other students think. They're not designed to establish who's “right.”
  • Be aware of your own biases. No one likes to think of themselves as prejudiced, but the reality is, most people have judgments and stereotypes of others—these are byproducts of living within a culture and society. However, our biases can act like filters, blocking out information we're receiving from other people, putting words into their mouths that reflect our views of who we think they are. As good communicators, personal biases must be put aside in order to hear what others are really saying. Be willing to listen to new ideas.
  • Pay attention to what is being said, not how you're going to reply. In group situations it's common to formulate a response to another person's statement as soon as we think we've caught the drift of what the speaker is saying. Communication can be greatly enhanced by listening to their point and waiting until they've finished talking to craft a response. If you’re worried you won’t remember the key points of their argument, concentrate on what the speaker is saying or try taking notes.

Be Open-minded to and Show Respect for Other People’s Perspectives 

Classroom discussion is a forum for individuals to express their critique of the topic or issues being discussed. The beauty of a liberal arts education is that our colleagues and professors will expose us to new ways of thinking about our world view. Disagreements are expected, however, the emphasis must remain on critiquing ideas, not ideals or identity. It's crucial to respect the right of other people to have perspectives that are vastly different from our own.

Speak to the Topic or Issue 

Speak from your own experience instead of generalizing. Use “I” instead of “they,” “we,” or “you.” The same holds true with other phrases that simplistically convey total agreement, such as “everybody knows,” “nobody thinks like that,” or “anybody with half a brain.” Also, instead of invalidating someone's story with your take on their experience, share your own story and experience.

Treat Others the Way You Want to Be Treated

Treat others’ feelings with respect and dignity. A good rule is to strive to “speak ethically.” Speaking ethically means considering other points of view and not making false claims or using offensive remarks, such as ethnic slurs or cuss words. Avoid put-downs, blaming, name-calling, making excuses, verbal bullying, sneering, eye rolling, or not paying attention when another person is speaking. As a critical thinker, it's essential to focus on discussing ideas, not ideals or identity. It's fine to disagree with an idea or criticize a potential plan, but those disagreements need to pertain to the ideas your classmate is putting forth not their identity or personal ideals.

Take Responsibility for Your Part of the Conversation

Participate in the discussion to the fullest extent of your ability. In order for a group discussion to be successful, every member of the group needs to be included in the conversation. Also, take responsibility for observing the class or group discussion rules. If the group agreed that only one person should talk at a time, then don’t interrupt another student until they're done talking, no matter how great you think your idea is.

Pay Attention to Your Nonverbal Communication.

Up to sixty percent of active communication is non-verbal. Use your body language to reinforce your commitment to successful communication. Make eye contact with the speaker and demonstrate acceptance nonverbally—such as nodding your head or smiling—to show that you're interested. Validating someone’s comment does not mean you are agreeing with the position reflected in that comment. But it does encourage further communication and may lead to that person showing greater acceptance of your own views.

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